


Cleaning Day

by centaursTurpentine



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asphyxiation, Biting, Breathplay, Bulge Sucking (Homestuck), Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Comeplay, Creampie, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Felching, Maids, Messy, Mild Blood, Mild Come Inflation, Multiple Orgasms, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Gamzee Makara, Nook Eating (Homestuck), Not Epilogue Compliant, Object Insertion, Oral Sex, Other, POV Second Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Coital Cuddling, Pretend Boss/Employee Relationship, Pretend Cheating, Pretend Workplace Harassment technically I guess, Rough Sex, Scratching, Sexual Roleplay, Smut, Tentabulges (Homestuck), Weapons Kink, do i need more tags?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26133100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centaursTurpentine/pseuds/centaursTurpentine
Summary: Gamzee and Equius have some maid RP funtimes.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara/Equius Zahhak
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Cleaning Day

It's been a few years since you and your friends arrived on the planet you now call home. You had a rocky start adjusting to your new life on Earth C, some legal troubles, a whole lot of counseling, but eventually you found yourself a decent place to live and slipped into a comfortable daily routine. You also refigured some stuff about your gender (or maybe unfigured, since you can't quite pin the rascally motherfucker down), so that's cool. You drifted further away from some of your fellow former Sgrub players, but they generally weren't that fond of you in the first place, a few close friends aside.

To your surprise, Equius, of all people, is still more than willing to associate with you despite the incident on the meteor. You caught up with each other, and he seems more or less pleased about the route you've managed to steer your life down, even if there were some roadbumps along it. And you were happy to hear he was doing pretty well for himself. You started talking with him more regularly again, and sooner or later you were ending up in each other's respiteblocks.

By this point, Equius has acclimated to Earth C's lack of a blood-based hierarchy and discarded the old notions that Alternian society had instilled in him. On occasion, he'd slip up and call you "highblood" again, but that's become rarer over time. His submissive leanings haven't quite gone away, though, and you're willing to indulge his disempowerment fantasies. At first he was hesitant to let you, ashamed that he still held onto these desires, but you assured him you're fine with his kinky self.

Some of your roleplaying scenarios still involve some sort of class differential. You're cool with it as long as he doesn't make it out to necessarily be about your blood color. Maybe that's not much healthier, but you figure you're the last person who should be looking down on anyone about unhealthy habits.

Equius is particularly fond of acting out the role of a butler or a maid. More often the latter. You gotta admit he looks pretty cute in that frilly dress. To go along with it, you like to adopt the character of a socialite wedded to a wealthy businessman high up on the corporate ladder. Your nonexistent spouse is a workaholic who is regularly out of the house, more married to his job than he is to you. But you got your own lover on the side...

\--

You've gussied yourself up, adding a little bit of shimmery eyeshadow and purple lipstick on top of your usual makeup. You fully intend on leaving lip prints all over your muscular maid. A bolero jacket hugs your shoulders, above a sleeveless, knee-length dress. The skirt poofs out around your thighs, padded by a few ruffly petticoats for a little extra flounce. Your kitten heels click against the floor as you make your way into the living room. (Stilettos would be sexier, but last time you wore them, you teetered sideways into a counter and woke up in the hospital with your arm in a cast. At least you got some fun nurse roleplay out of Equius after you were discharged.)

You lounge across the couch and sigh about how your imaginary husband went and jetted off to yet another business trip on the other side of the world, leaving you home with naught but your faithful housemaid. Equius tsks and shakes his head while he brushes his feather duster along the window frames. Nearby, a mop is propped up against a wall next to a conveniently placed bucket.

"Well, he has to make a living somehow, and frequent trips abroad simply come with his line of work. Surely his enormous income makes it all worthwhile?"

He receives a loose shrug and a noncommittal grunt in response as you take a sip from your (plastic, but fancy enough) "wine glass" filled with grape Faygo. Your free hand fidgets with the strand of faux pearls draped around your neck, beads clicking together.

"Is it really, if I ain't even be waking up next to him half of the year? Like fuck, I bet he all up and chases some high-end floozies while he's out and about. Can't say I'd really blame the motherfucker, though." You gesture with your glass as you talk and "accidentally" drip a little on the coffee table. Whoopsie daisy. "Be a darlin' and wipe that up, would you?" Fluttering your half-lidded eyes, you flash a smile in Equius's direction.

"Right away, Mx. Makara." The feather duster clatters to the floor, and your maid comes scurrying over to clean up the soda spill. A towel unfurls from his apron pocket, clasped daintily between his strong fingers. Equius bends over and starts swiping the cloth along the surface of the table. Sneakily, you pour out a few extra drops of Faygo to guide Equius into a position where you can get a better look at his ass, front row and center. Your eyes run from his skirt, down his stockings, and back up again. God damn, his legs look good in that uniform.

You reach your hand out until your fingertips come to rest on his thigh, just a little below the hem of his skirt. They slip beneath the lacy fabric and slowly creep further up. Equius lets out a mock gasp and looks back behind himself, hand over his mouth. "Why, Mx. Makara, whatever are you doing?"

"Heh heh, you know very motherfucking well just what I'm getting myself up to be doing." With a mischievous grin, you slide your hand up to his hip and take his skirt with it, getting a nice eyeful of what's underneath. "Them panties are cute as hell, by the way."

"Why, thank you, I--" Before he can get another syllable out, you give him a swift smack on the ass. "--MY WORD." You erupt into peals of honking laughter. As you catch your breath and quiet down, you give his stinging buttock some gentle rubbing.

"Now how bout I get that fine ass of yours all up and outta em?" You hook a finger under one of the elastic garter belt slings holding up his stockings and give it a yank. ...Hold up, how do you undo these things again? Equius reaches down and helpfully unclips them, before resting his hands back onto the damp, sticky table.

"Well, if you insist..."

"I motherfucking do insist." Grabbing hold of the frilly waistband, you slowly ease his undies down the curve of his ample glutes to his knees. He's a little hobbled by the fabric surrounding his strong legs, and he takes care not to move too much and risk tearing it. You may prove to make that a little more difficult, though. Cupping an ass cheek in your palm, you give it a couple firm squeezes, accompanied by a "Honk honk!" Equius yelps and squirms. The coffee table creaks under his palms.

You drain down the remnants of your Faygo and set the cup aside. Freeing up your other hand, you push the maid's head further down to elevate his back end and take a better gander at the goods. The blue slit of his nook is already looking nice and slick. You're tempted to eat him out right then and there, but that's probably a bad idea considering the sugary soda you've just been guzzling down.

Equius's thighs are pressed too close together to really get a good look at what's going on up front, at least from this angle. So you shove your hand between his legs and run it along his labia until you can grab onto the base of his bulge. Yep, it's out and ready to play. The swollen appendage wriggles in your grasp. A shudder runs through Equius's body. His muscles tense as he expends even more effort to stay still, now that your wrist is in a prime position to get crushed between his powerful thighs.

You draw your hand away from Equius's nook. Lifting a heel-clad foot, you use it to push his panties the rest of the way down to his ankles, before rubbing it a little against his inner calf. Taking hold of his waist, you pull your naughty little maid down and seat him on your lap. You hook your arm around his front and keep idly stroking at his bulge, while listening to those soft, barely uncontained moans coming out of him. Your own bulge wriggles underneath his rear, separated by only your skirts. You personally didn't bother wearing underpants today. "Lucky me, I got a lil ho of a maid to be keeping me company while my 'husband' be gallivanting halfway across the motherfuckin planet."

"I am-- a-ah-- always pleased to be of service to my mistre-- er-- mixtress?"

"Eh, mistress, mixtress, master, mixter, it's all cool with me, dawg. Thanks for tryna be all courteous and shit, though. 'Preciate it." With a chuckle, you lean forward and give him a little peck on the cheek. Turning his head, he kisses you back. You mash your lips against his and you two draw out the smooching a little more while you fondle at his writhing cock, before giving his bottom lip a little nibble and retreating. "Now lemme get right up in that tight lil nook of yours. You're just aching to get stuffed all the motherfuck up with bulge, ain't ya?" You start hiking up your skirt, revealing the thick, purple tentacle that's been thrashing away underneath.

"It would be no greater pleasure than to let you use my body for your gratification, Mx. Makara. Stuff me as full as you can go." Carefully guiding the tip over to his entrance, you slide a little ways in. Once you're good and lined up, you dig your nails into his hips and slam him down onto your length. A pained, pleasured scream erupts from Equius's throat at the sudden stretch. Still deep inside of him, you move forward to shove him face-down, bent over the coffee table again, and start fucking him rough and fast.

"Haha, fuuuuck, you can really take a bulge, can't you, my good slut?" This ain't either your or his first rodeo. You've fucked him this hard before, and you've seen the kind of toys he'll impale himself onto, with little preparation at that.

Of course, he responds with nothing but wails of "Yes, yes! Oh god, yes! Please! More! Harder! (If you so wish, that is, mixter.)" And you do so wish. You oblige the saucy maid underneath you and pound him harder and deeper. Meanwhile, still keeping a tight grip on one of Equius's hips, you lift your faux pearl necklace over your head and horns and dangle it in front of the maid's face.

"Now wouldn't this look all pretty around your motherfuckin throat?"

Amid all his panting and groaning, Equius raises his head a little off the coffee table to get a better look and nods. You slow down a little to help him get a word in edgewise. "It is a rather exquisite piece of jewelry, my mistress. It would be an honor if you permit me to wear it. ...And if you do as you will with it once it's on." Both he and you know full well where this is heading. Grinning ear to ear, you loop the strand of beads around his neck and yank upward. As he lets out a strangled gasp, his head is pulled up with it.

"Remember, the safe sign is two fingers." You move your other hand in front of Equius's face and flash him a peace sign. He gives a short, stiff nod against the pearls, ever careful not to break it in the process. Now that you've reaffirmed your (probably pretty bare-bones) safety protocol, you resume thrusting away into your kinky maid's hole, now while choking him out. You hope to god he'll be able to let you know if you're taking it too far before he passes out.

Turns out you don't need to worry too much. With all your pre-coital handsiness and the addition of asphyxiation, Equius winds up climaxing pretty soon after you rope the necklace around his throat, his nook clenching about as tight around your bulge as the pearls are around his neck. His blue seed spills over the floor and manages to splatter both the couch and the coffee table as well. Tsk tsk, what a mess. Looks like Equius forgot to take the pail with him. And after he went through the trouble of setting it out as a housekeeping prop, too. You tug the necklace tighter and scrape your claws down his thigh. "Naughty boy." Another, thinner spurt of material hits the floor.

Since Equius is pretty much spent and you probably will be too soon, you let the pearls slip out of your hand before you get too carried away with choking him. He gulps down air and lies limp while you drag his body back and forth across the coffee table with your ongoing rhythm. "Seeing as how it up and slipped your pan to bring the pail over here, imma have to use you as the mother fucking pail this time, brother." An excited shiver and more nook contractions. "Got too eager to wait on me and hop all up on this bulge, huh, my maidly beau?"

"O-oh dear, how scatterbrained of me. Hhhh... I guess I can't object to being your pail, though."

"Haha, of motherfucking course you ain't objecting, my most lascivious invertebrother." You keep rolling your hips against the exhausted maid, who resumes trying his best to rock back against you once he catches enough breath. You feel yourself climbing closer to the edge. Leaning down over Equius, you press your chest to his back and wrap your arms around him to clutch at his throat and pecs. You bring your lips to his shoulder. As you finally hit your peak, you bite down and ride out your orgasm while you listen to him scream. His abused nook is pumped full of hot, purple genetic material, and his belly swells a little from everything that's been crammed into him.

You collapse on top of Equius and lie there for a few moments, panting, kissing at the bite wound you left on his shoulder. Then a club is summoned to your hand from your strife deck. You slowly pull out of him and, once you're out, press the head of the juggling pin to his entrance. A bit of purple fluid spills out around it, joining the colorful mess on the floor, until you start pushing the club inside him. Equius cries out while the club stretches his nook even further than your bulge did. You get it in a good ways, and then hoist yourself up long enough to stumble back onto the couch. You survey the sight in front of you: Equius, spread legged and disheveled, skirt crumpled up to his waist, with a juggling pin and splatters of multicolored jizz between his legs. Lovely. "Hehe, now don't go takin that club out until you've cleaned your mess all the motherfuck up."

"Of course, Mx. Makara." Equius peels himself off the coffee table and shakily moves over to kneel by the puddle of cum. With a purr, he slips a hand down to feel around the club inside him for a moment. Aroused, his bulge already begins to emerge back out of its sheath. He dips his face down toward the floor, tongue poking out from between his lips.

"Wait. Hold up." You raise up a palm. He halts in place, sitting at attention. "Don't-- don't use your tongue on the floor, dude. I mean, it's pretty hot 'n' all, but I ain't wanting you to be catching anything nasty all account of it."

Equius lets out a huff. "I assure you that my immune system is robust enough to handle whatever microbes that may be lurking on the floor. But I appreciate your concern." He continues to lower his head, but you're not having any of it, and you grab him by the collar.

"Nope. Nope! You ain't using your tongue to clean nothing in this here hive but me." His gaze is cast down to your groin, but then you start tugging him closer in front of you. "And speaking on health concerns, we gotta do something about that bite. now that I think about it."

Underneath his shades, you can see him roll his eyes. "If you say so, Mx. Makara." Sighing, he shifts over to kneel in front of you, in the puddle you interrupted him from cleaning up. His stockings grow ever more stained. You unbutton the front of his dress and pull it open to uncover his bleeding shoulder. A first aid kit is deployed from your sylladex. Equius stays put while you fuss over him.

You clean the shallow wound with an alcohol wipe, rifle through the box for a bandage in the right size, and carefully apply it to the bite. Then you follow it up with a gentle kiss atop the bandaid. "There, all motherfucking better!" 

He snorts and pecks you on the lips in response. "Yes, I am already quite soothed, thanks to your impeccable bedside manner. Now shall I get to cleaning you up, as you so mentioned?" His hands come to a light perch on your thighs.

"Hell to the motherfuck yeah, brother." With a wide, fanged grin, you roll up the front of your skirt and hook a leg behind Equius's shoulder to drag him closer. Ever eager, he is quick to dive his head in and get to work. He laps up along your inner thighs, wiping away the drying stains splattered across your skin, until he reaches your nook. His tongue drags slow lines up and down the outer lips, intermittently moving up to circle your sheath. Soon, the tip of your bulge peeks back out. Equius coaxes it further, between tracing paths along your nook slit. With a groan, you grab onto the back of his head, fingers curling to snag his long hair, and arch your hips forward against his mouth. "Yeah, that's it, bitch. Eat up."

A muffled moan sounds out from between your legs. You glance down to see Equius's hand dart down to palm at himself. Nice to see he's having as good a time with this as you are. He alternates between more enthused licking at your hole and sucking at the ever growing length above it. Finally, once enough of your bulge is out, you tighten the grip on his hair, shove his face down, and start fucking his mouth.

"Feel free to fuck yourself with that jugglin club, by the way." Equius practically jumps at the chance to do so, grabbing the handle and thrusting it in and out. He does a wonderful job of multitasking, sucking you nice and hard and bobbing his head while he pleases himself. Your bulge continues to slide deeper into his mouth and down his throat, straining his jaw further open. He's careful to accommodate the girth and keep from scraping his sharp teeth against the skin. To reward his efforts, you grab his intact horn and push yourself in deeper still, choking him on your cock. This seems to excite him to the point where he speeds up the pace of his club fucking. God, you love this kinky troll.

You're quicker to come this time around, letting out a loud honk as you climax. A surge of fluid floods Equius's throat. You pull him off of you, and he tries his best to swallow your load, though a bit escapes his mouth and drips down his chin. He coughs and gasps for air while you rub at his back.

"You wanna finish off inside me?" you ask. A weak nod in response. You pull Equius up onto you and wrap your legs around his waist, and he steadies himself a little better by taking hold of the back of the couch. Guiding his thick, blue bulge to your entrance with his hand, you shove yourself onto it a good ways in. He begins to slowly roll his hips into you, perhaps a bit over-cautious and restrained out of fear of shattering your pelvis. You quicken your own pace and force his bulge deeper inside of you.

"Hmm, maybe I should get up on top," you muse aloud. Equius agrees and gently holds you up while he turns around to sit on the couch, ass awkwardly hanging off it to accommodate the club handle still sticking out of his nook. This position works for you just fine. You straddle Equius's thighs and keep bouncing away atop him. His head drops back against the top of the couch, eyes rolled up, face enraptured. Your head dives down to lock lips with him, muffling each other's moans. Slipping your tongue into his mouth, you can taste yourself on him.

Faster and faster, you keep on riding Equius and shoving yourself further down until you take up up to the hilt. His hips buck up against you, movement growing more unsteady. Finally, he releases inside of you. A warm pressure builds in your nook as his genetic material comes rushing into it. Stretched all the more full, a low groan rumbles in your throat. You find yourself squirting a splash of purple all across Equius's thighs and the front of his dress.

Legs trembling around him, you lift yourself up off his bulge, whining as it slides loose from your hole. You take purchase of the back of the couch, hoist your torso over Equius, and bring your crotch to his face. "Looks like you got another mess to be cleanin up," you say with a breathy laugh.

"Indeed, it appears so." He clamps his lips to your nether ones, and starts sucking his own jizz out of your nook. There's less in there than he left on the floor with his previous orgasm, but it's still at least a quarter of a pail's worth. As the flow thins, he starts using his tongue more and slips it inside your now over-sensitive, aching nook. You pant and writhe against him. He continues his licking until he no longer tastes the salt of his fluids and draws his tongue back out.

Your fingers card through his damp hair. "Good boy..." A pleased chirp pipes up from him. You ease yourself back down into his lap and wrap his arms around him. "Fuck, we're a real motherfucking mess, ain't we? Gonna have to haul ourselves all up into the ablution trap sometime soonish. But I'm just too fuckin tired to get moving right now, brother."

"As am I. We'll just rest for a while and take care of tidying up once we're recuperated." You bury your face into the crook of his neck and pepper it with lazy kisses. He gently holds you and smooches back. The two of you cuddle until you succumb to your exhaustion and drift off to napping in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if I should just keep this as a one-off or add more kinky Gamquius shenanigans sometime maybe.


End file.
